There's so much on my heart and mind right now, and yet as I sit down to type out some thoughts, the words are coming slowly . . .
We all know life is a journey, and along the way are high points and low points--mountains and valleys. And lately, friends, I've been in a valley. Tired, drained, lacking joy and peace.
This past Saturday morning I was planning to make a trek to a nearby town to browse their consignment shop. But as the time to leave approached, I felt unsettled in my spirit. I knew that what I really needed was to have a retreat--to get away and process some things I've been struggling with, to pour out my heart to my Father. And so instead of taking a couple hours to run an errand, I took a couple hours to sit with my journal and Bible. Taking a retreat was definitely the right decision, but it wasn't an easy one. As someone who prizes productivity and efficiency, getting things done can too often become my main focus. But I don't want to be driven by tasks--I want to have a gentle and quiet spirit, to be growing more like Christ each day.
If my spirit is unsettled, as it was on Saturday, I have to be willing to take the time and effort to dig into that, instead of trying to cover it up with busyness or anything else. I definitely identify with this quote from St. Augustine: "God, you have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you." My heart has been restless lately, and I am convicted to continue drawing closer to God, as He is the only One who can bring me the peace I've been lacking.
During my retreat on Saturday, I came across Psalm 116:7, "Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you." This verse is really calming to me. I wrote it down and posted it in my kitchen because I want to keep reminding myself of God's faithfulness, of all that He has done for me, and I want to find rest in that. Another favorite verse of mine comes from Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You." May my soul find rest in You alone, God. (Psalm 62:1) Help me seek after You at all the points in my life, whether they are mountains or valleys.
If you could use some encouragement today, here are a few songs that have been meaningful to me lately: By His Wounds (wow--so powerful!), If You Want Me To, and Breathe. The lyrics to these songs help me speak the words that are on my heart: "By Your grace we are saved," "I'm clinging to the promise You're not done with me yet," and "I'm desperate for You."